Bitch Smarties!


Last night’s edition of the BBC’s Question Time was interesting. One of the questions brought up the topic of Midget Gems. These sweets (candy), basically firmer Wine Gums, were popular in the 1950s and are apparently still sold by Maynards and various supermarkets. The question was whether they should be renamed, as the word “midget” is rather offensive to those of reduced stature.

Jess Phillips argued that the word is offensive, so they should be renamed:

“You wouldn’t eat a chocolate bar that had racist slurs written on them. You just wouldn’t, and you wouldn’t have, like y’know, sort of… BITCH SMARTIES!”

Jess Phillips MP

This point was hotly contested by a number of people who suggested that they absolutely would buy Bitch Smarties. I felt my creative juices stir, moved to envisage the marketing of such a brand. Behold the end result of my efforts:

Bitch Smarties
Bitch Smarties, by Jesslé.